It is most important to keep Manjal, Kunkumam, Sandhanam to all auspicious occassion
Relations/people who play major role in all the pre & post marriage customs, apart from the bride and groom, are:
| From Bride’s Side (Pen Veettar)
Girl’s Parents Brother(s) Considered to be in a father role for bride’s who don’t have parents Sister(s) Brother-in-law is in a father/brother role for bride’s who don’t have parents/brother Maternal Uncle–Aunty Thai Mama plays a very major role Aunty–Uncle Athai-father’s sister
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From Groom’s side (Mappillai Veettar):
Boy’s Parents Paternal Uncle Considered to be in a father role for bride’s who don’t have parents Brother(s) Considered to be in a father role for bride’s who don’t have parents or brother Maternal Uncle–Aunty Thai Mama plays a very major role Aunty–Uncle Athai-father’s sister
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Here are the things that are needed during Nitchayathartham / Betrothal / Engagement
| From Bride’s Side | From Groom’s Side |
| Silk Dhoti-Shirt-Angavastram or Pant-Shirt for the groom | Silk Saree for the Bride |
| Engagement Ring (gold or diamond or platinum) for the groom | Engagement Ring (gold or diamond or platinum) for the Bride |
| Garlands for the Bride and Groom | |
| Common Items à Manjal, Kunkumam, Sandhanam, bundle of flowers (jasmine or mullai) | |
| Seer Plates – these are usually odd number of plates of goodies (e.g. 5 or 7 or 9 or 11 plates); example of few items that can be in a seer plate are listed here:
1. Any sweet seer plate – Jangiri/Ladoo (as per your choice; we usually keep jangiri/ladoo because the plate should be quite attractive) 2. Thengai/Coconut seer plate – 5 numbers (we usually keep Tumeric coated coconuts) 3. Flowers seer plate – Roses or you can add any fragrance flower 4. Fruits seer plate(s) – Banana, Apple, Orange, Pineapple, Pomegranate (usually 5 or 7 number of each based on choice) 5. Dry Fruits seer plate – Cashews or Badam or Pista or Dates 6. Kalkandu seer plate 7. Sugar seer plate 8. Chocolates seer plate 9. a plate consisting of Beetal Leaves, Beetal nut (Kotta Pakku) and limestone (Sunambu) |
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| v Maru Seer plate / Return gift – In a tamboolam/plate place the following items banana, some fruits, flowers, beetal leaves, beetal nut along with some cash which is usually a value ending with 1 vit. 1001 or 5001 or 10001; it is then exchanged with the other family | |
Based on the community the function could either be organized by the bride’s family (pen veettar) or the groom’s family (mappillai veettar). The most common seer set for this function that both the families should get is listed below. The first two items being unique for both the bride’s and groom’s family and the remaining ones being common for both the families.
Based on who is organizing the function, the below items will be needed to bless the bride and groom:
- Silver Pezha and Kunkuma chimizh
- Rose water
- Akshathai à turmeric rmixed with ice, flower (uthiri poo)
- Flower (jasmine/mullai/rose)
Is offering of Gold in addition to the engagement ring a must? for both sides
Hi Jayakumar,
Offering of Gold in addition to the engagement ring, depends from one family to another family. Kindly check with your family elders.
Usually, the gold that is agreed for the bride by the bridegroom’s family is given in parts to the bride, some during the engagement function and some during the actual marriage function. E.g. If 10 sovereign of gold is agreed by the bridegroom’s family, they might split it into 1 sovereign for the engagement ring, 2 sovereign for the thali, 4 sovereign for the thali chain and 3 sovereign for earrings or a necklace set. The engagement ring and the earrings/necklace will be given during the engagement, while the thali and the thali chain will be given during the marriage.
Thanks for your comment and question; I am happy that this article is useful for you. My suggestion above is based on what i have witnessed in my marriage and my relatives marriage.
Can u tell me the list for about 45 plates of seer frm groom side….
PRIYANKA,
These are the mandatory/BASIC SEER things from BRIDGEGROOM side for the Marriage
Thriumangalyam
Thali saradu
Gold/Platinum/Diamond ring
Gold/Platinum/Diamond Necklace
Gold/Platinum/Diamond ring for bride’s brother
Silk Saree for the Bride
Dresses for the Bride’s family (usually given as a sign of respect)
SEER:
1.Any sweet seer plate – Jangiri/Ladoo (as per your choice; we usually keep jangiri/ladoo because the plate should be quite attractive)
2.Thengai/Coconut seer plate – 5 numbers (we usually keep Tumeric coated coconuts)
3.Flowers seer plate – Roses or you can add any fragrance flower
4.Fruits seer plate(s) – Banana, Apple, Orange, Pineapple, Pomegranate (usually 5 or 7 number of each based on choice)
5.Dry Fruits seer plate – Cashews or Badam or Pista or Dates
6.Kalkandu seer plate
7.Sugar seer plate
8.Chocolates seer plate
9. a plate consisting of Beetal Leaves, Beetal nut (Kotta Pakku) and limestone (Sunambu)
//Seer Plates- these are usually odd number of plates of goodies (e.g. 5 or 7 or 9 or 11 plates); the above mentioned list are some of the samples.//
FOR 45 PLATES OF SEER you can increase the plates with the above mentioned things.
// BEFORE PROCEEDING KINDLY CHECK WITH YOUR FAMILY ELDERS//
Maru Seer plate / Return gift – In a tamboolam/plate place the following items banana, some fruits, flowers, beetal leaves, beetal nut along with some cash which is usually a value ending with 1 viz. 1001 or 5001 or 10001; it is then exchanged with the other family
normally groom side they will bring like perfume,handbag or etc for bride in a tray. did bride also need to do the same?
Hi devayani,
perfume, handbag and other makeup items from groom side are their personal choice apart from the regular seer items; it is not necessary to give the same kind thing from the bride side.
kindly check with your family elders
thank you